Posts Tagged ‘Thought’

SEE THE LIGHT AND GOOD IN EVERYONE – Part 2

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

I used to play a lot with 3 girls who were one grad higher than me but lived in the same family housing area in my father’s working place – Police Department of our city. Unfortunately, one day before the Cultural Revolution, three of them came to me to condemn me as bullying and declared that they terminated their friendship with me because I touched one girl’s breast even though she allowed me to touch it. They did not give me time to explain but just left. I was desperate and ashamed, even today when I thought about them, I can still see their stern face clearly. I really felt that I was abandoned because of my stupid and silly action. I also felt guilt and dirty.

This event has created a deep scar in my relationship with others. Since then, I was afraid of making friends with others, was afraid of expressing myself to others. The Cultural Revolution made everything much worse in me than ever. I not only was afraid of making friends, but also could not trust anyone as I saw so much betrayal and distrust: husband and wife against each other; children against their parents; brother against brother; neighbors against neighbors. I could not find anywhere to be safe and secured. I could not talk to anyone and I did not have anybody talking to either, including my parents. Basically I was a scared and lonely child, I longed for having friends but was so afraid of being rejected, not liked, betrayed and abandoned.

For those years in my childhood, I have learned that I could not trust anyone if I was going to survival. I kept everything inside me and did not share any of my true feelings, thoughts and emotions with anyone. I only showed to people what I felt safe and superficial. I hide myself in a hard shell for survival. In order for me to survive from any situation, I constantly judged people in my mind based on my belief and conditioning so that I could response properly. I worked very hard to be perfect so that nobody would find any faults or mistakes in me  and I could be away from any troubles. I silently judged people’s intention and motivations, and I was always able to find their flaws. This has become my instinct response to anyone or any situation.

To be continued….

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DEPRESSION – Part 3

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

Although I was in darkness and very down while I was going through depression, I was provided with the opportunities by my depression to connect to and work with my shadow side, which has led me to a deeper understanding of myself, my past incarnations, my conditioning, my belief and old habits and patterns. The awareness enabled me to have profound healing and transformation for my own being on all levels and for my life. I start to have better understanding that I can change myself to the soul who I truly am and create a life that I am meant to have.

I have been practicing Inna Segal’s “Releasing depression” self healing: “Place my hands on the part of my body where I feel depression most intensely. In my case, I have severe self doubt, self guilt and self unworthy issues carried from past incarnations, and my second chakra is basically heavily blocked as if there is a rock blocking the energy flow. While I was concentrating myself on the second chakra and placed my hand on my tummy, and then breath into this area for a few moments, while allowing any emotion to rise to the surface with little resistance. Then relax my hands. While I was doing this, I felt my lower back and tummy area was stirred up inside, I started farting and became emotional. I heard myself say,” do I truly believe in myself?!”, as soon as I heard these words, I started crying. I knew that the emotion was coming to the surface.

I allowed myself quietly crying for a while, then I followed Inna’s instruction, “ Divine Healing Spirit, using the orange-red ray of light, please sweep away all depression, disappointment, dullness and helplessness from my system. Assist me to find my way out of this heavy, dreary state and renew my life force energy, so that I can begin to see the brighter side of life, full of joy, laughter and fun. Restore my enthusiasm and thirst for life so that I can contribute to humanity and give back all the kindness and assistance I have been blessed to receive. Thank you. Then I repeat the word “CLEAR” several times until I feel lighter.

After this, I simply visualized the orange-red ray of light moving through my body, mind, emotions and energy field and beginning to clear and dissolve all negative thoughts, words, feelings, memories and images of depression and disappointment. I visualized all the dark energies being washed away into the purple bag from my body system. Once this was done, I in my thought sent the purple bag to the God’s light and witnessed it being transcended to white light.

to be continued…

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SELF HEALING – Part 7

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Our physical body is very intelligent. It works with all our subtle bodies and is able to get all information we need through muscle test. This is why all the spiritual teachings told us to go within and to find answers within for ourselves. Talk to our body, listen to what it has to say to us, then work with it, we will be able to establish the intimate relationship with it, and we will be able to get all answers we need.

The next step is to pay attention to our thought, words and thinking patterns, learning to heal ourselves on the mental level.

As we know that any creation begins with thought. What we think, we create, no matter it is positive or negative. Any thought the moment we think, we initiate the energy in motion and it is ready for us to use it and to manifest it. If we have used it, it will flow and manifest whatever we create in that thought form, then, we need to take responsibility for its consequences. Positive thoughts create the positive manifestation so it will not have any problem for energy flow from it and through it.

On the other hand, negative thought creates negative consequences, often, we do not express it, therefore, it will go within and stay in our auric field and create energy blocks to stop the energy flow. Each time we think about something, but we do not express it or use it, it creates a block and stays in our mental body, becomes stagnant energy. Gradually it will cause imbalance  at all levels of our body system, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Any unused thought energy will go back to the source, but it has been changed and no longer the same as the original. It will wait for us to use it no matter how long it will take, sometimes, many incarnations.

Negative thoughts blocks the positive manifestation in our life, create all problems and disharmony in our life. The negative thoughts create energy blocks in our mental body, even in our emotional body. These energy blocks will block the energy centers (Chakras) of our body, eventually will manifest dis-easy in our physical body. The physical disease or illness is the last step of manifestation as our chakras are heavily blocked, the glands that are in charge of regulating the balance among all the bodies is no longer able to do its job – make energy flow and bring balance to our body, mind and spirit.

to be continued….

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PAYING KARMA AND CREATING KARMA – Part 1

Monday, April 5th, 2010

One of the main reasons we are all keeping coming back to the Earth Plane, again and again, is our karma. Our karma holds us on the wheel of reincarnation. What is Karma? Karma is one of the Universal Laws: Cause and Effect. In other words, we get back what we gave out. If we gave out good, we will reap good; If we gave out “bad”, we also will reap it. Karma can be created by our thoughts, choices, actions and reactions, most times it connects to our emotions, such as fear, insecurity, hatred, anger, jealousy, greedy and all other negative emotions.

Before I connected to the spiritual part of me, I was always complaining that why my life was so suffering. Challenge and obstacles kept coming to my life one after another, I did not feel the pleasure of life at all, instead, only the heaviness and hopelessness. I used to feel so heavy that I even could not breathy freely. Because I did not have spiritual awareness, I simply considered myself as a bad luck person.

After I started my spiritual path, I never thought I could harm someone by my own action or reactions. I used to release past life energies, always came out along with a lot of dramatic emotional release. I never asked if I owed others karma, rather than that, I thought was others owed me karma. Until recently, with raising my vibration, I become more and more aware of karma. Spirit has brought people whom I owed karma or who owed me karma into my life through many different ways to enable me to work out karma and to  bring the energy balance back into my Being.

By going through the process of paying karma and working out my karmic debt, I have learned so much about it. I am still learning. But one thing for sure, I am no longer afraid of it, neither to run away from it. In contrast, I now consider every one is an opportunity for me to learn and grow as a spiritual soul.

To be continued….

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WHERE WERE THEY FROM? – Part 5

Friday, October 16th, 2009

Early in 2009 I had a chance talking to Margaret. She did my 2008 solar return which covers my life in 2009 (My birthday is in December) . She told me that a man could come in my life and my Self would run away. At that moment I did not know that it could be this man. Therefore, I promised her and the Master without any hesitation that I would not run away, I would face my fear! She smiled and said to me: “Good, we will see.” To be honestly, I did not completely understand what she said but simply thought that it was not a big deal and I would face it. Even though I had gone through so much in the past few years regarding releasing past life energies, I had no idea what she said implied the challenge and fear I was going to face. But the promise I made to Margaret did help me not completely run away and I finally struggled through.

Here was this man, who had the most beautiful healing energy, who was very gentle and kind, who respected me and not had any intention or desire to harm me, and who never said one word that he was interested in me! But I was so scared by only having the thought that he could be my future partner!

I am telling you that I am not kidding! This is so real and true, I was so terrified that this man would come into my life! Only by thinking about this possibility, my whole emotions were stirred up. If it happened like before when I was at age of 20s, I could do the same thing to run away from him. But now I was on the spiritual journey and I wanted to free myself from incarnations and leave the Earth Plane forever. So I knew I could not run away from my lessons any more.

My Higher Self gave me the message that I should not think too much but simply let it be, allow the Universe unfold what lies between us, and that I should go within to find out where the fear came from. I received this message clearly and it did help me a moment. But it was only a short moment. The fear was so dominate and abject that I still could not follow what my Higher Self suggested. All I did was to avoid this man, pretended as long as I did not have any contact with him, that he would not come in my life just like what I did it to my classmate while I was in graduate school. This lasted 5 months. I did all my best to avoid this man without realizing that my Self had created this drama and illusion. I actually was fighting what I had created by my own thought!

To be continued….

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