Posts Tagged ‘soul’
Sunday, August 29th, 2010
January 3rd of 2006, I said “Good Bye” to Philadelphia and flew to Bellevue, WA to join Margaret and Alan to become Margaret’s personal assistant. I stayed in their house downstairs in the most beautiful and quiet environment. A new life and new beginning began and my life opened a brand new page. I was full of hope and joy for the change and for finally I was able to go towards my true destiny and to work with Spirit closely. After all these struggles in 2005, I felt that I was the luckiest person in the world and that I was so blessed and grateful.
Everything was great and everyday had something new for me to learn in the area of metaphysics. I have enjoyed being with Margaret and Alan as I learned a lot of things on the spiritual level from them on the daily base. I also moved into another level of my spiritual development. Since I found the true purpose of my life, I have been longing for full time working for Spirit. Here my wish has come true. This was a completely different arena from what I was used to for the past 51 years of my life. The dominant logic part of me had to let go and I had to learn to listen to my intuition, not to be too rigid which I used to be and too structured. Old habit died hard. I had so much difficult to change it as this was where my Self had been holding onto. At one time, Margaret told me that Spirit was to shut down my left brain in order for me to learn to listen and develop my intuition which is belonging to the right brain. Because of all the new life and new learning, the pressure I had on the lawsuit was greatly reduced. Therefore, I thought that I should no longer have to deal with it anymore. What an escaper! It turned out that I was totally wrong about it. It was again, that my Self wanted to run away from the lessons and challenge my soul has chosen to go through.
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Tags: change, destiny, environment, intuition, lawsuit, left brain, lesson, life, Margaret, purpose, self, soul, spirit
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Friday, August 27th, 2010
However, I can now see that it does not have to be such difficult as I thought it was if I did not have fears: worrying about money and survival, poverty consciousness and lack of self confident. Because of these fears I made the five months waiting period much harder and more difficult than it should be.
In December of 2005 I flew to Tacoma to meet Alan and Margaret again to get our January tour ready. This time Margaret and Alan were also going through big change in their life, I felt that they need a personal assistant. It was just an idea. However, it surprised me that a few days later, Margaret talked to me that they needed me to be their personal assistant. They told me that this was a temporary job and they were not able to pay me salary but I could come to live with them. I did not care if they would pay me salary. I was just simply so happy to hear this as if I was waiting for this day for so long and I was finally free from my situation in Philadelphia and was able to work with Spirit closely. They wanted me to be with them as soon as possible which left me only three weeks to put all things together and to move from Philadelphia to Bellevue. This was unexpected but it was what I have longed for in my soul. During my visiting this time I also heard that they were moving from Tacoma apartment to Bellevue house they just bought. When I heard this, I strongly felt that I needed to extend my staying so I could help them move. So on December 10 2005, we moved from Tacoma to Bellevue. The following day after Alan and I unpacked everything Margaret said to us that the Master wanted to talk to us. Master gave us the deep gratitude from Spirit and told me that I paid my karma to Margaret by deciding extending stay and working hard to help Margaret and Alan move.
continued…
Tags: apartment, Bellevue, consciousness, difficult, karma, lawsuit, life, Margaret, poverty, soul, spirit, survival
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Monday, August 23rd, 2010
I knew although I was in a difficult time but it was what I choose to be as a part of my soul’s learning and growing experience. It was not easy for me to give up my job and moved towards my true destiny. However, once I did it and moved away from the job, I no longer needed to go back to it, otherwise, I would go backwards spiritually and it would be much harder for my soul growth. So I determined that no matter how hard time I had at that moment, I must be very true to my soul. If I could do so, the situation would change eventually and I would come out of it as an evolving spirit.
While I was waiting for the result from EEOC, I started to look for the office again for opening a metaphysical school.
I did not realize that I had so much fear of not having enough money. I basically lived in poverty consciousness and fear of not having enough money to do what I wanted to do. From my previous experience I had learned not to combine residential and commercial together. Therefore, I decided to find a space in business area but I was so afraid of spending money. As a result, I was only looking for the cheap rental space. Of course I hardly found a place I liked.
Because of the worry about that the money from selling my house would run out very soon if I did not have any income. Therefore, I decided to apply unemployment benefit from the state government. I had a hearing from the state about the benefit as my former employer declined my request. The reason they declined my application was that I did not follow the procedure to fill the complaint about my situation even though I was trying to fill quit pro-quo to EEOC. Therefore, I had to present my reason why I did quit my job during the hearing.
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Tags: application, benefit, destiny, difficult time, employer, experience, government, income, job, lawsuit, money, situation, soul, unemployment
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Thursday, August 19th, 2010
But deep down inside me I knew that Margaret was right and I must do it if I wanted to completely break the karmic tie between us and to become the soul I was meant to be. After all, despite of my abject fear, I decided to take Margaret’s advice to file the lawsuit in order to assist my boss free him from this ingrained past life energy.
Two days later I went back home and started to find a lawyer who could help me. I looked phone book and left my message to two law offices in our area. In two days I did not hear from either of them. During these two days waiting time, I was alone in my rented townhouse and thought about the whole situation. I even more convinced myself that it would be very difficult for me to win the case as I did not collect any evidence and did not follow any human resource procedure during the whole thing after I broke up with my boss. As I looked back and suddenly realized that I did not listen to the message Spirit tried to give me during my brotherhood course period. The funky reaction and angry words my boss said to me on the way to airport while he drove me to catch up the flight to New Zealand for the Brotherhood course; I was very upset by his very rude words and reaction. While I was alone at the airport, I cried and cried, and tried to justify myself that what my boss accused me was not true.
On the first day of our Brotherhood course, the master explained that they (Spirit) talked to me like that through my boss. The Master explained to me that the reason they did so was that my boss had so much anger inside him and he could not tolerate my rejection to him. Now I could see there was a message the Master delivered that my boss could be very nasty and angry towards me if I broke up with him.
continued…
Tags: airport, anger, brotherhood, evidence, fear, lawsuit, Margaret, master, message, past life energy, rejection, soul, spirit
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Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
I was alone and had no job, but I was ok for finally I did something for myself. I thought that I had finished the karma and lessons with my boss. But again I was wrong.
In September of 2005 I came to Seattle to attend the grand opening of Seattle Metaphysical school at Tacoma. I stayed with Alan and Margaret. The following morning after the grand opening, while Alan and I were talking aside their dinning table, Margaret rushed out from shower with a tower wrapped her wet body and said to me that I needed to file a lawsuit against my boss. I was shocked by what she said and thought that I heard her wrong. So I said to her with full confusion on my face: “ what?” and then she said to me again firmly that I needed to file a lawsuit against my boss.
By then I finally got the message that I had to file a lawsuit. Just by thinking about this topic, I could feel my fear all over my whole being. At first I was very fearful as I did not want expose my privacy to public and I did not want people to criticize me. Secondly, I thought that I had finished the karma with my boss by breaking up the relationship with him I no longer needed to do anything with him anymore. Margaret sensed my fear so that she sit down to explain why I needed to file the lawsuit. She explained that my boss was in control mode for many incarnations and could not break from it.
By me to stand up against him through lawsuit, I could help him stop keeping on this pattern which could assist him to change as a soul. Also this was my big lesson I needed to learn in this life time to stand up for my own right as a woman and human being. What I did not know what was ahead of me and how much I could handle. I was so worry about the outcome as I did not expect anything like this to happen so that I did not collect any evidence.
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Tags: Alan, fear, human being, karma, lawsuit, lesson, life, Margaret, message, Metaphysics, people, school, soul
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Monday, August 16th, 2010
I never thought that I was going to have a lawsuit in my life. I used to be very cautious not to break any laws in order to avoid any trouble in my life after experiencing my father’s arrest event in the Chinese Cultural Revolution. I had carried deep fear over authorities due to my horrible experiences with authority in many incarnations. I tried to stay away from any trouble with government, authority, police and law, etc.
Unfortunately, the Universe knows me much better than I know myself. What I had feared with, the Universe brought to me to face it. It sounds very scary, and going through the process was not easy either, but as I faced my fear, I have learned so much from it and become a better soul.
It was in September of 2005, I just went through a big change in my life. In March that year, I broke up a relationship with my boss. Even though we only had a few months relationship, it was a very intense and emotional charged relationship. In a short period, all the past life energies started to come to the surface, I was emotionally charged by these energies but was not aware of it. I was very angry, sad, depressed and felt as if I was trapped into a hopeless trap. I finally was able to break this relationship and felt free. But 10 days later after the termination of the relationship, I got first warning letter from my big boss ( higher position than the one I had relationship with) for my poor job performance. I knew what the true cause was of this letter but I was so afraid of speaking out the truth. I was afraid of what other people were going to thinking about me if I exposed my sexual relationship with my boss; I was so afraid of being laughed, judged and ridiculed. So I did not say anything but kept it quietly.
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Tags: change, Chinese Cultural Revolution, event, father, fear, job, law, lawsuit, life, performance, Relationship, soul, universe
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Monday, August 9th, 2010
Step by step, I gradually learned what I should value the most. I have learned to make choice from my heart but not from the external criteria. Finally I have reached this level to clear what has buried in my soul. By going through this process, I have been going through the soul purging, I have to heal my deepest wound and to learn to establish my own inner authority. I have to learn to be truthful to my heart, to stand up for myself, to speak my truth quietly and clearly with love, to do service with a pure heart, without the desire for recognition and reward.
This is a long journey of learning and growing experiences. The process is not easy one. Many nights I could not sleep. Many nights I was woken by pain in my body as the deep buried emotions coming to the surface through my physical body. Many moment I had to face my own darkest part, no matter whether I was scared or not. I can not count how many times I just wanted to run away and nobody could find me. Many times I was so scared by what has been brought out from my deep within and rather not to face it. Many times I had to struggle with my Self to face the deep pain, sadness, depression, anger and hatred. It is too many to be counted.
Thanks to the masters and Spirit for their unconditional love, for not giving me up and for never stop loving me. I slowly moved on with the struggle in each step of my development. At end, I no longer desire for any recognition or power or social status, but just want to serve with an open heart.
I have changed so much in this process, even though for most time in my experiences the change is painful and not easy as I faced the painful past life memories, fought my Self and ego. I gradually have learned to leave the past behind so that I can truly move forward. But one thing I know for sure that I have changed to be a much better soul who has gained so much understanding and the peace with that understanding. As I continue evolving, I am sure my lessons are also unfolding. The learning is also evolving. The growth will also never stop.
Tags: change, ego, experiences, growth, lessons, levels, Life lessons, past life memories, self, soul
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Friday, August 6th, 2010
I never felt close to my father. I never felt that I had a lovely father. All I knew in my youth years was work hard and study hard. I felt so heavy and repressed in my childhood that I could not breath sometimes. Because of that, I did not want to stay close to him so I left my home at age of 17. Since then I hardly went back to my home town to visit my parents. I invited them to come to visit me, in this way, under my roof, my father could not say anything about me as much as he wanted when he was at his own home.
I did not spend one day for myself but just tried very hard to achieve something in my career or my social status. Finally, at the age of 38, I earned a permanent researcher title which was the equivalent to the full time professor. It was a title and position so many people strived for in their whole life. It was a symbol for ones’ great achievement in ones career. I earned it at age of 38. Because of that I became famous overnight; I was the role model of young scientists in our academy. I was on national newspapers and my title and position was much higher than my father’s! My father was very happy about this. He collected all news papers which reported my story. Unfortunately, I was not happy. I worked so hard to get to the top but I was so disappointed because I realized that it did not fill my empty heart, a heart longing for true love; that it did not make me happy because I was still lonely. People did not know me, people respected me not for who I truly was but for my achievement, for my status and the power my position gave me.
Even though I held a position and title so many people strive to have it, I was sad, depressed and lonely. It did not bring me joy and happiness; it did not make me feel fulfillment. It did bring the security and stability into my material life but not give anything to my soul. I hated it in my heart, but I could not give it up as if I did so, people would definitely think I was crazy and nuts. The director of our institute said that to me on the phone when I decided to stay in the US. She made a long distance call and told me that I was mental sick and I was crazy. She said to me that she could not understand why I gave up everything I had in China. The only reason she could think about was that I was crazy and abnormal!
to be continued….
Tags: childhood, father, happiness, home, levels, Life lessons, material life, parents, social status, soul, stability
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Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
The North Node is where we are going. It is our life direction and our destiny.
Find these planets configuration in our natal chart will assist us to live our life to its fullest and much more meaningful. It will help us make better choice and wise decision, avoid wasting energy to do something which no longer serves our soul’s purpose.
Our life plan has many facets and levels to assist us to experience our life on the earth plane. Anyone can find the proper answers and guidance at wherever they are at their levels of consciousness. For those who have not awakened to their spiritual self, they can get the advice and guidance through mundane astrology; for those who are already on the spiritual path, they can find their lessons, karma and destiny through spiritual astrology or esoteric astrology. However, no matter wherever we are or whatever we do, the karma and lessons remain the same. We have to pay our karmic debt, work out our karmic energy, and learn our lessons from the moment we were born in order for us to fulfill our life plan in this incarnation.
At each stage and each level of our consciousness, we have different ways to learn what we need through our free will choice, but the final goal is to achieve our soul’s growth. We may not be aware of the lessons or karma but we will learn through our experiences more or less. Our life plan is continually unfolding as we go on our life journey. Our life lessons are learned on many levels as we continue our life. Each step is a corner stone to lay the foundation for our next step.
For example, in my natal chart, I have Chiron in Capricorn in the 2nd house, the house of money, material possessions and values. My big lesson I have chosen to learn in this life is to learn the true value. What do I value the most? What do I truly want in my heart as a spiritual soul? Money, wealth, social status, popularity, or face values, or value what is in my heart, what is the most importance for my soul? I will have to learn so much and go through the deep healing of my soul through this lesson. My deepest wound will be played out through low self esteem over authority issues.
to be continued….
Tags: authority, Chiron, face values, healing, heart, issues, lesson, Life lessons, money, natal chart, polularity, self esteem, social status, soul, value, wound
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Monday, August 2nd, 2010
We are souls on a journey – a journey for soul’s growth and evolution; a journey to achieve soul’s perfection. The earth plane is one of the best schools for souls to learn different experiences and to grow the most to higher consciousness. As a soul, we all have our own uniqueness to participate and contribute to the Divine creation through what we have learned and experienced in our life journey.
We base on what is the best for our soul’s learning and growing to choose what karma we need to work out, what life lessons we need to learn, what goals we want to achieve in each earthly incarnation. We make all the choices, nobody else. All we have planed before we were born on the earth plane are completely our own choices and decisions. The utmost goal is to achieve the soul growth. How can we achieve this? It is through our free will choices that we learn to do things from our heart.
Our natal chart is our life blue print. The karma we need to pay and to work out, the lessons we choose to learn, the lessons we did not learn yet and we have brought back to learn again, and the destiny we have choose to fulfill are all recorded in our natal chart. We choose our birth date, birth time and birth place to meet our soul’s needs of spiritual learning and growing. Therefore, it is very important to know one’s natal chart, because it will enlighten us to understand ourselves and our life. It answers the questions: Who we are? Why are we here on the earth plane? What are we here to do? What is our life purpose? What is our destiny? What lessons do we have to learn? What karma do we have to work out? What is our gift and talent? etc.
In our natal chart, there are twelve houses. Each house represents one area of our life. There are twelve zodiac signs and each sign represents our different characteristics. There are ten major planets, each planet represents a unique energy. There are also major asteroids, such as Chiron, etc., as well as Nodes. The South Node is where we come from, it implies our past lives. The North Node is where we are going. It is what we need to learn and to accomplish. The North Node indicates our destiny and our life path.
to be continued….
Tags: Chiron, choice, destiny, Energy, experiences, higher consciousness, incarnaton, journey, karma, Life lessons, Life path, natal chart, perfection, Pluto, Saturn, soul, uniqueness
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