Before I came to the earth plane in this life, I choose to learn heavy lessons in the area of relationships, not only all type of relationships with human interaction, especially the one on one intimate relationship, but also with animals and nature as well. I have chosen to learn to be softer. Although I have been a female figure in many incarnations, but I have not learned to be gentle, to be softer without losing my power; I either allowed others to control me completely but buried so much anger within me, or I controlled others and treated others badly. Either way is not the way to bring peace, harmony, joy and happiness into my life. Therefore, in this incarnation I have determined to work out the karma I have acuminated in this area and bring balance back into my being.
In my whole life, I hardly have very close friends. Being without friends was bothered me greatly when I was young. I wanted to fit into my age group and wanted to be liked by my schoolmates, but for somehow, no one ever was close to me. I wanted to be good friend with some classmates whose family were on the high social status but ended only had one friend whose school grades were not good, in other words, who was not “academic smart”. She was the only loyal friend I had in my primary school even though I had excellent grades. She was always with me and supported me. Unfortunately, our relationship was ruined by the event that she was infected by head fungi and she in turn infected me by using her comb on my hair, so we both had Scalp Ringworm and had to go to hospital in the capital city of our province for the special treatment. Because of that, my hair was shaved and my head was exposed to intense x-ray for 40 minutes in order to kill all fungi on my head. I had to go to school with a shaved head and was laughed badly by kids in our school wherever I was. I also developed bad headache. My health was also gone down.
When my mother found out that I got the Scalp Ringworm from her, she did not want me to be with my friend anymore. So I lost my only friend. Although I was “academic smart” and had very good school records, it did not buy me friendship with classmates. I was most of the time playing alone. I was very good at gymnastics without anyone teaching me. I was also good at sports so that I was selected to swim team in Sports School, which helped me greatly in my loneliness after school time.
To be continued….