Posts Tagged ‘emotions’
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
First thing I realize what I need to change is to stop judging and criticizing anyone and anything. Instead of thinking about people or things in a judgmental and critical manner, I need to see the light, good and beauty in everyone I encounter and everything I deal with. Everyone has a heart, a beautiful heart. If I can see this beauty and trust it, I will be able to feel it and be touched by it. This is the first thing for me to do. If I can truly do so, I can be truly kind, soft and gentle.
A few days ago, I thought about something that we should do a few weeks before. But the person who was in charge did not do it because of the very busy schedule. While I was driving, I thought about it, my first response to my thought was blaming and anger because I automatically ran into my old habit and pattern: judgmental and critical. I thought about how they should do but they did not do, how this person never listened to me and never allowed me to help, bla, bla, bla… This triggered me so much anger and hatred. It was very intense so that it shocked me as I did not know where it came from. I vented my anger and hatred, and made conscious choice that I determined not to let the anger and hatred to control over my emotions anymore. Once the anger was vented, I was able to be calm and to look at this situation from within. What should I learn or do in this situation?
While I was thinking, I realized that I used to allow my emotions to take over in the past whenever I thought about things or situations related to this person. I always put myself in a victim position and always blamed this person. But I never thought if I could consider things or situations from this person’s situation, I might have better understanding. As I realized this, I was aware that I have created the uneasy relationship or uneasy cooperative situation because of my judgmental and critical attitude, and because of my conditioning and belief. As I was aware of this pattern, I decided to change it.
To be continued…
Tags: attitude, belief, change, conditioning, critical, emotions, good, judgmental, light, Relationship, situation, victim
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Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
I used to play a lot with 3 girls who were one grad higher than me but lived in the same family housing area in my father’s working place – Police Department of our city. Unfortunately, one day before the Cultural Revolution, three of them came to me to condemn me as bullying and declared that they terminated their friendship with me because I touched one girl’s breast even though she allowed me to touch it. They did not give me time to explain but just left. I was desperate and ashamed, even today when I thought about them, I can still see their stern face clearly. I really felt that I was abandoned because of my stupid and silly action. I also felt guilt and dirty.
This event has created a deep scar in my relationship with others. Since then, I was afraid of making friends with others, was afraid of expressing myself to others. The Cultural Revolution made everything much worse in me than ever. I not only was afraid of making friends, but also could not trust anyone as I saw so much betrayal and distrust: husband and wife against each other; children against their parents; brother against brother; neighbors against neighbors. I could not find anywhere to be safe and secured. I could not talk to anyone and I did not have anybody talking to either, including my parents. Basically I was a scared and lonely child, I longed for having friends but was so afraid of being rejected, not liked, betrayed and abandoned.
For those years in my childhood, I have learned that I could not trust anyone if I was going to survival. I kept everything inside me and did not share any of my true feelings, thoughts and emotions with anyone. I only showed to people what I felt safe and superficial. I hide myself in a hard shell for survival. In order for me to survive from any situation, I constantly judged people in my mind based on my belief and conditioning so that I could response properly. I worked very hard to be perfect so that nobody would find any faults or mistakes in me and I could be away from any troubles. I silently judged people’s intention and motivations, and I was always able to find their flaws. This has become my instinct response to anyone or any situation.
To be continued….
Tags: childhood, conditioning, emotions, feelings, good, intention, light, mistakes, motivation, situation, Thought, troubles
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Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
Fortunately, I have Margaret/Maitreya and Spirit’s help and guidance. In January of this year the solar eclipse on January 15th conjuncts my natal Chiron enabled me to clear all the emotional energy with him. Because of what I have done, my father was finally free from me and was able to move forwards on his spiritual journey. He no longer needs to incarnate to my family to work out the karma with me anymore. We no longer need to be tied together anymore. It is truly a wonderful feeling that we both are free from each other. Now, whenever I think about him, I only feel love, appreciation and peace in my heart, no more any negative feelings towards him any more.
I have a friend, who is absolutely a beautiful and wonderful soul. Her twin sister died 29 years ago from cancer. She was so sad and lonely. She felt lost.
She never recovered from her sister’s death. Her life moved on but she never dealt with the emotions. She buried all these in her broken heart. When she first came to my workshop, during the meditation, she was overwhelmed by the most beautiful love energy as she never felt it before. She did not know what to do about it so she stood up and wanted to leave the room. I went to her to calm her down by sending her some healing energy.
While we were talking after meditation, everyone in our class felt that her sister was with her and was sending her the most beautiful love energy. She was so thrilled by this experience. Then, as she continued taking my classes, her feelings and emotions towards her sister became stronger and stronger. Finally, she broke down and cried and cried for a whole week. She could not stop crying no matter wherever she was. She felt so embarrassed that she finally emailed me that she needed help.
As I talked to her during the session, I knew that it was the time for her to release all the emotions and to let her sister go. We did emotions code to release many different emotions, and after that, we did meditation. I guided her to go through the process of cutting off the tie and healing on all levels. After this session, she stopped crying and she felt great relief. Now, because she has released her sister from her, her sister is able to move on, and she also becomes much happier and lighter.
to be continued….
Tags: death, emotion code, emotions, healing, heart, life reviews, meditation, release, session, workshop
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Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
The last two weeks of our class, he came to visit his classmates during our meditation. He gave every one of us his message. The last day of our class, he asked sister to channel his message to us. His message is: Open our heart to love, never stop love. Love is the most important lesson that we are on the earth plane to learn and to experience. Never be afraid of expressing love and kindness to others. His words truly touched all of his classmates. Yes, it does not matter who we are and what we are on the earth plane, it matters is that we are here to give love and to receive love openly and freely.
Another issue is that our loved ones or souls can not move on in Spirit World because of our deep emotional ties with them. We hold onto them emotionally, deep sadness, deep attachment, anger, hatred or other emotions. They connect with us through energy. If we have strong feelings or emotions with them, they can feel everything that we feel, even more intensely. In other words, we hold them back and we stop them from moving forward to the next level of their spiritual development.
The emotional ties which I had with my father are one of the examples. I had so much deep anger and hatred towards my father, not only from this life but also from many past lives. In this life I have chosen him to be my father so that I could release all the hatred and anger I carried over from many past lives with him. He was very strict to me and to everyone in our family. Because of the way he was, I hated him which made me consciously connected to my deep buried past life energies with him.
Although I talked him out of the grey area in Spiritual World, I still had so much strong emotions which tied me with him and these were all on the subconscious and unconscious level. Consciously I forgave him many times and loved him very much, but every for a while, something or some situation would trigger me and these emotions towards him would come to the surface. It took me 6 years diligent and hard work to clear all the emotional ties with him. He was learning in Spiritual world and was preparing to come back to my family to continually work out the past life energies between us if I could not release them all. I held him from moving on.
to be continued….
Tags: clear, emotions, emtional ties, forgive, grey area, life reviews, love, past life energy, release, situation, spiritual world, subconscious, trigger, unconscious
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Monday, June 28th, 2010
The next layer was a brown red colored layer, mirroring me the bitterness, sorrow, lonely, grief, defensiveness, crying, self hatred, self abandonment, hopeless, wanting to escape from the world so that nobody could see me or know me.
As soon as I finished this layer, the orange colored layer was appearing to me. As I was drawing the orange layer, the words came to me was: low self esteem, doing things for others to please others, fear of saying no to others. Values based on other people’s opinions, action or reactions, keeping a smile face to hide my true desires.
The Last layer was the color of magenta. This layer was telling me that I needed help from others; I wanted to share with others but I feared of people to see my imperfection, my weakness, moody, isolation, failure, and a broken heart.
By the time I finished the painting, I cried and felt cold. The coldness was so profound that as if the ice was penetrating my bones and cells. I knew that this simple painting has truly triggered my subconscious trapped energies. The energy was ready to come to the surface. I felt that I should not stop this process so that I started doing meditation to clear these emotional energies.
I used Inna Segal’s book:” The Secret Language of Your Body” to begin the healing. I followed her guidance for heart healing: close my eyes. Turn into my heart. Visualizing my heart in my mind’s eye, how did it look? Was it happy and expanded, joyfully giving and receiving love, or was it constricted, stressed, tired and limited?
As I was asking these questions, the image of the painting with all colorful layers appeared in front of my mind. I did not find any positive emotions but all negativities. I followed her guidance to imagine that I had a host in my hands which contained a clear healing water. I used this host to wash away all the layers of negative emotions from my heart. I visualized the layers was washed away and disappeared by the healing water.
to be continued….
Tags: desire, emotions, healing, healing water, heart, love, mind, opinion, painting, reaction
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Saturday, June 26th, 2010
I did not do regular morning meditation as I did not want to get up but just lying in bed thinking nothing, doing nothing and feeling sorrow for myself. This was very unusual as I never stopped morning meditation in the past 7 years no matter what was going on in my life. However, I did so for a week this time. I knew that something was very deep and very dark waiting for coming to the surface. I consciously felt it but did not know exactly what it was.
Last Saturday afternoon I had a session with Karen/sister. Karen/sister suggested me to paint in a private and quiet time to connect to this deep buried dark emotional energy. It has to do with valuing myself and honor myself. It was stored in my sacred chakra which severely blocked my creativity and manifestation in my life. This was triggered by that gentleman and needed to be working out on the personal level. This is also a big lesson that I have chosen to learn in this incarnation and the time has come.
I could feel that my Self was resisting to their suggestion. My Self tried to find excuses not to paint. I said to Karen/sister that I did not know anything about painting at all. Karen/sister said to me that I did not need to know how to paint. All I needed to do was just do pick up the color pain and a piece of white paper, and then just allow my soul guide me through. In doing so, I would allow my soul bringing the deep subconscious energy to my conscious awareness so that I could have a look and deal with it.
Sunday morning I got up at 6 am and decided using this quiet time to paint. Where to start? As I looked at the color pens, the first color drawn to me was pink. Pink is the color of love. As I held this color pen, I said to myself what I should paint. As soon as I asked this question, a knowing that I should draw a heart with this pink color. As I was doing it, a huge wave of emotions started coming out.
to be continued….
Tags: awareness, color pen, emotions, Energy, healing, heart, paint, pink, soul, subconscious
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Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
Last Saturday I had a private session with Karen/Sister. During the session I asked them about my lessons regarding the relationships with men. I have been divorced for 11 years since I came to the United States and raised my daughter alone. During this period, I was basically living a single life. My ex-husband was married right after our divorce and soon had a son. I was very happy for him as I was not able to give him a life and a family he deserved.
When my daughter was going to college, my ex-husband told me that he could not pay any tuition for my daughter because he had spent his money for his son. I did not waste any energy to argue with him as I knew that he had already made his mind, why I should loss my pride to beg him? I managed to do it on my own.
I had a few very short relationships with men in the last six years. I had past lives with each one of them. By being with them, they triggered the past life energy I had with them which has been buried in my subconscious memory for many incarnations. When the energy came to the surface, all the unpleasant, painful and intense emotions were brought to my consciousness to be released. As a result, I ended up all the relationships with them but raised my vibration. In this process, the more I let go of any of these emotions, the more I cleared the blockages in my etheirc body and my soul memory so that I was able to move forward to my true soul destiny.
Up to now, I am reaching a stage that I can clear the deeper layers of my emotional blocks from my soul memory. A few weeks ago I met a gentleman who came to our center to rent a room for his workshop. We have had a few very short conversations during that period. One day this gentleman came to our center and wanted to have a short reading to find out what he should do for his future. I was ready to leave when he walked in, so that I suggested him to come back in a week.
During this time period, I was thinking how I could help him to find out what was the best career he could choose for his soul and for meeting his true destiny. I knew that the astrological reading was the best way to go. Although the money he had was not enough for this reading, I decided to do it for him anyway.
To be continued….
Tags: Astrology, blockage, career, consciousness, emotions, healing, heart, layers, money, past life, reading, Relationship, soul memory, vibration, workshop
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Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
The unexpressed emotions are the true cause of these physical diseases. Sometimes, through modern medical treatments we can cure some of these diseases, but they could come back. Why, it is because the true cause – the emotions are still not released from the emotional body. Therefore, even though we can remove the disease from our physical body, because of the unreleased emotions in our emotional body, they can still create disease in our life and our health well being, until we remove these emotional blocks and allow the energy flowing again.
The universe finds its own way to bring change into our life through planets transition. If we as human want to move to higher consciousness, want to make a better life for ourselves, we have to change. Change is not necessary easy but always good. Along with every change is always uncertainty and unknown. Because we are so used to be in control of our life, we do not like to be in the state of flux. Therefore, instead of going with the change, we habitually tend to pull ourselves back to where we were, against the change. What we do not know is that the more we hold onto the old way, the harder we make our life. We are the one who creates more difficulties in our life but we can not see what we are doing. We are moaning and groaning, blaming others, blaming life, but could not see what we have done to ourselves.
We do this because of fear: fear of unknown; fear of uncertainty; fear of something new; fear of unfamiliar, but if we see fear not as a fear but an illusion (this is the truth), which we, our SELF, have created it in our energy field, it will be no longer as fearful as we thought. It will cease to be and disappear.
We are the creator of our own reality. We can either create a positive and uplifting life or a negative and passive one. It is totally up to each one of us. The universe is bringing the opportunity of change to us. Earth plane has made its own choice that it will ascend and move to higher vibration. We as the residents on the earth plane, we can choose to go with it or against it. It is totally up to each one of us. But one thing for sure, if we go with the change, we will have a very promising and wonderful future ahead of us. Change is inevitable no matter what we do or how we do. What choice do we want to make?
Tags: chang, creator, disease, emotions, Energy, higher consciousness, life, medical treatment, physical body, planet transition, universe, well being
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Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
- ·Finding the mirror: Once we have expressed your emotions, it is time to look at how we may have co-created the event or situation that created our pain or emotions in the first place. Why? Because each individual is the creator of his/her own reality. Therefore, everything in that reality is his/her responsibility. To find the mirror we simply have to ask ourselves how that person’s behavior in some way mirrors our own. There will always be one. As Maitreya said: everyone comes in our life to teach us something. They are our teachers and mirrors. They are here to help us to learn and grow spiritually.
- ·Owning the mirror: Each person who plays the “trigger” role, also known as the “Dark” role in our lives. They are in our lives by contract. Part of the contract stated that they would play the role exactly as we scripted.
Why? Because we as a creator, we wanted to have a perfect mirror of
something inside of us, something that we wanted to change but could
not see because it was hidden. Through the mirror, we can see and then
we can make change.
Through the role of the trigger that something was manifested before our
eyes and as perfectly as any being could want. We would have to be
totally blind and unconscious not see the aspect of yourself being reflected through the mirror of the trigger’s role. Once we see that aspect, we can finally own the responsibility for the trigger’s role and our contract with him/her. This releases us from the feelings of “victimhood” – a very heavy emotional burden indeed. Then we finally can see what is inside us through the mirror. The issues or lessons we need to learn by then are brought to our consciousness.
- ·Clearing the mirror: Now that we have owned the mirror, then we have
the choice to clear it or still hold onto it. This means to take the trigger
person through the compassion and release him/her from all responsibility for our pain and emotions. This is where the true understanding, appreciation, gratitude and compassion come into Being. By then, we have truly cleared what buried deep inside us, and we are able to move to higher vibration.
to be continued….
Tags: choice, compassion, emotional healing, emotions, healing, mirror, pain, responsibitiy, self healing, trigger
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Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
Therefore, it is very important and necessary to be aware of our thought patterns and the way we think; be aware of the influence from others, our culture, environment, beliefs, habits, etc. In order to make the energy constantly flow through all of our bodies, we need to think positively, communicate positively, accept positively. Once we are aware of our thought pattern, we can then start to work on change it.
Affirmation can break the negative thought pattern, change the negative energy. The more affirmation we say and repeat, the more we change the energy, eventually it will shift the energy and start manifest things we desire in our life from negative to positive.
Speak our truth quietly and clearly with love is another way to express our thoughts and make the energy flow out of our mental body, not create blocks. If something we can not express to someone, write a letter to that person honestly about what we feel and how we feel to release all in our mind and emotions. Then destroy the letter. We can write many times until we feel the energy we want to express is completely gone, then, write another letter with love, honesty and gentleness, send to that person, or we can talk to that person directly without any negative thought or emotions.
The next step is to pay attention to our emotions, learn to allow our emotions flow instead of repress them and keep them inside of us. Emotions are the root problems of our repeated incarnations. The Self part of us reside in our emotional body, use our emotions from past lives and this life to stop us from moving forward to higher vibration, higher consciousness and move away from earth incarnation.
Fear is the most common negative emotion in our human society. Not only our own individual fear, but the collective fear, is the negative force to trap our whole humanity in the darkness.
to be continued….
Tags: darkness, emotional body, emotions, fear, healing, higher consciousness, Higher vibration, humanity, incarnation, negative force, problem, self, self healing
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