May 17th, 2011
Two days later, the only Chinese girl friend I had in the Netherlands went to Chinese Embassy for something. The moment she walked in the room of the educational department, the phone rang and it was from the Canadian Embassy who was calling to confirm the letter that the third secretary wrote for me. The third secretary answered the phone and confirmed it. The girl friend was very excited and told me this news as soon as she came back. She said to me that I was going to Canada. The following day, I received a letter from the Canadian Embassy to ask me to mail my passport to them so they could issue the Canadian visa to be. By then, I talked to my boss in the Netherlands to extend my staying for another month. During this extended period, I had two vivid dreams. One was I received my US visa in Canada, and another was I changed my Chinese public affair passport to personal passport.
Within a week, I received my visa to Canada. Within a month, I flew to Canada and began a new adventure. I stayed in Canada for three months. During those three months, I changed my passport and got my US H-1 visa. Three months later, I came to the United States and I began another a new life and new adventure.
I have learned so much in the one year in the Netherlands. My strength to pursue my dream was tested to its maximum. I did not know how I went through and if I can do it again. But I do know that I have experienced so much in that year, especially about intuition, how our spiritual guides and guardian communicate with us through our intuition. I used to try to do things in my own way, try to control things in my life. This experience in the Netherlands taught me that I could not control anything and if I let it go, I would be in a better position of my life because I would listen more to my intuition. Our spiritual guardians and guides from the spiritual world are with us 24/7 to assist us to learn our life lessons, to work out our karma and to move on to our soul growth. If we can listen to them through our intuition and follow it, things will work out the best in the sense of learning lessons and paying karmic debt.
continued…
Tags: intuition, karma, karmic debt, lessons, life, spiritual guides
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May 14th, 2011
Thank God he did not refuse to help me! I was not sure what the result he could get while he was talking to the head of passport department because I went there to change my passport three times in the past few months but the head of the passport department refused to change it for me. In those three days I was restless and anxious to wait for his call. I was hoping to hear from him, but in the meantime, I was afraid of hearing something bad.
As he promised, he called me back on the third day. He told me that he thought about the whole thing and changed his mind. He decided not to talk to the head of passport department to change my passport; instead, he was going to write a letter to the Canadian Embassy with the head letter of Chinese Embassy that I was authorized by the Chinese Government to work in Canada as a post doctorial fellow. And he will also sign his name at the end of that letter. He said this was the best solution he thought for my situation. I was not sure if his solution would work, but he assured me it would be no problem. He faxed the letter to me, and I immediately faxed all documents to the Canadian Embassy in London.
to be continued…
Tags: God, passport, situation
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May 12th, 2011
I remembered clearly that I was alone and felt so lonely because I did not have anybody to help me, I did not have anybody to talk to. I cried and cried to ask if there was a God and if there was a help? I could go back to China but I did not want to. I knew if I went back to China, I would never have another chance to come out of it and to pursue my new life of adventure again. I did not know what to do except crying. It was a weekend, I took the train with no purpose but wandering. While I was in my no hope and giving up condition (because I did not have anything left to try!), I felt a solution coming to me. It sounded very ridiculous and could not work at all, but at least I could give it a try, better than nothing, and I could not lose anything more than I already had.
The idea was to call the third secretary of the educational department in Chinese Embassy and to let him know my situation. I only met him once while I went to register my arrival in the Netherlands in Chinese Embassy so I basically did not know him very well despite the fact I had a good impression on him. Besides, it was a Saturday. I was not sure if there was anyone in the Embassy but I was so desperate to find a way out that I had to give it a try. Therefore, I went back to my apartment and called the Chinese Embassy. The third secretary was there and he picked up the phone! I told him my situation and he thought about it for a while after he listened to my story. He then told me he felt I could try to get a Canadian visa by changing my public affair passport to personal passport. He asked me to give him three days for him to talk to the head of passport department in the Chinese Embassy and to let me know the result.
to be continued…
Tags: God, life, purpose
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May 10th, 2011
I believed he was sent to me by my guardian spirit to help me move out of my dead marriage and move on to my chosen soul journey. So I can fulfill my life plan one step at a time. Have I not had the relationship with this young man, I would still be in my dead marriage, holding my social status which really did not mean anything to me, and pretending that I was somebody else whom I was never be in order to fit into other people’s expectations.
The relationship with this young man enabled me to leave everything I had in China and come to Europe. While I was in the Netherlands as a post doctoral fellow, I was also trying to find a job in the United States. It was a very difficult year while I was there. Because of my passport status, I was not able to change my passport from public affair passport to personal passport in the Chinese Embassy, which prevented me to get a visa from US and Canadian Embassy. When I applied to get my US visa from American Embassy, I was declined and asked to go back to China to get the visa. When I applied the Canadian visa from Canadian Embassy, I was also declined and asked to get Chinese government’s sanction because of my public affair passport. My visa for staying in the Netherlands was going to expire in a week. I was in a desperate situation as if all doors for me to pursue the freedom and new life was closed and the only way left for me was to go back to my old comfort zone and I did not want to.
to be continued….
Tags: guardian spirit, life plan, marriage, Relationship, soul journey
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May 7th, 2011
This young man and I were working in a lab for a few years but I did not like him except the first impression. He was mirroring me something I did not want to see within me so I kept distance from him. In five years we were just colleagues. He was not interested in me and I did not like him either. In those five years, I finally finished the karmic relationship and it left me a broken heart to be healed. My marriage was suffering but I did not have the courage to leave my marriage. I had so much fear of what people would say about me, what was going to happen, and I might be really becoming someone whom nobody wanted, if I broke my marriage. So I stayed in the dead relationship for security and for tradition.
One day, I had a relationship with this young man but I did not know what has happened exactly. All the sudden, we were in love with each other and on fire. Even so, I knew deep down inside of me that this relationship would not go anywhere, but I still allowed myself to get into it. Through this relationship he did help me heal my heart to a certain degree. He also motivated me to leave everything behind and to begin a new adventure in the western world. Even though our relationship ended a few years later, but he did show me that there was always hope and that life did not end because of something ended as long as I did not lose hope. The relationship with him was more positive and forged me to move forward to next level of my soul evolution. I wondered if he was one of my soul mates who chose to assist me at that time to break some of my old habits and conditioning so I could fly to my true destiny. Certainly he finished his task with me and moved on, and I ended up in the United States alone and began my new learning experiences there.
to be continued….
Tags: heal, heart, learning experiences, life, Relationship, soul evolution
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May 5th, 2011
In the summer of 1987, when I was standing on the roof of my five-floor office building and wanted to jump off the building to kill myself at midnight due to hopelessness and heart broken relationship I got myself into, something there prevented me from jumping to my death. I could not tell exactly what it was, but in the darkest and most despaired moment, something was there holding me from jumping. I thought about it many times afterwards, I could not have the answer. But since I was into metaphysics, I now know that it was my guardian spirit who protected me from jumping. My guardian spirit did not interfere with my free will choice, but the love they gave me ignited the spark of hope in the bottom of my heart at that moment and eventually protected me from killing myself. It is the intense love from my guardian spirit that saved my life! Because of that, I was finally able to go through that most painful experience and paid my karma through this relationship.
At that time period, I was an atheist due to growing up in a communist country. I even did not know there was a spiritual world. However, I did believe “fate” because I could not control something beyond. I did believe something beyond my comprehension. Even at the very dangerous or uncertain moment, I still felt something protected me. While I was in this painful and karmic relationship and could not come out of it, a young man came to work in our division. When the first day he came to our lab, it was the lunch hour break. Everyone was gone except me who was still there doing experiment. I was so immersed in my own emotional world to think miserably about my hopeless marriage. Then I saw him standing at the entry door of our lab. I felt as if I knew him very intimately even though I never met him before. I knew at that moment he would be somehow a part of my life, but how and when, I had no clue. I can still remember that moment clearly today. Of course, I never said one word to him about this experience and I never mentioned it to anyone till now.
to be continued….
Tags: emotions, experience, experiment, heart broken, karmic relationship, marriage
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May 3rd, 2011
In Chinese Cultural Revolution, our whole country was in a chaotic state. People were crazy, and they had no concerns about life at all. People killed each other for no reason. Anyone could loss their life for having different opinions or for saying a wrong word. The violence and gun fires were everywhere. I could hear the bullets flying everywhere from my window in my house everyday. Seven people of our family lived in a 200 ft2 single room together. We all lied in bed because there was no extra space for us to hide. Days after days I could not count how long we were like this. The dead bodies were everywhere, but my whole family was miraculously safe as if we were protected by something bigger than the gunfire and anarchy of our country.
When I was asked to give up the opportunity to go to college but to stay in the countryside and not to inform my parents about it by the head of our district, the deputy of my community approached me to ask if there was any message I needed to give to my parents when he was going to attend a meeting in the city where my parents lived. I gave him a very simple message and he delivered it on time. Because of that, my mother fought for my fate. She went to see the mayor and told him about my situation. Because of that, the door of going to college reopened for me and I was able to catch up with the last opportunity and I went to college. As I looked back in my life, this was a critical turning point. Had the deputy of my community not voluntarily asked me if I had message to my parents, my parents would never know the real situation I was in, and I would never had the opportunity to go to college. If that had not happened, I could still be a peasant and not be able to be where I am now. The fate again played its way out for me because it is not my destiny to stay in the countryside to be a peasant for my whole life. The reason the head of my district wanted to hold me there was because he used my place and gave it to his relative the opportunity of going to college. He used my place for his personal agenda. Again, my guardian in Spirit looked after me and brought me out of it.
to be continued….
Tags: guardian spirit, life, opportunity, spirit, turning point
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April 23rd, 2011
I did not have any rescue knowledge and did not know how to approach a drowning person. Plus, I was only around 13 years old at that time, my body did not have the strength to hold him, so I was pushed into the water and could not breath. The man was using his legs and hands to hold me and push me as if he was holding onto a life saving straw. As I was struggling under the water and did not know how to get ride of him, I thought I was going to die. At that moment, I realized how stupid I was trying to be a hero. I even did not think I was able to survive from this situation as nobody was noticing what was going on in the middle of the river. But something magically happened: the man released me and I was finally able to let my head out of the water and breath the fresh air. The man was rescued by the soldiers but nobody noticed me who was still under water. As the man was rescued I was free from him, I quietly swam to the shore. As I arrived to the shore, I was exhausted and lying on the sand to think what had happened to me. I knew it was a miracle that I was able to survive from this situation. I learned my lesson in a hard way but I was saved from death.
As I looked back to this event in my life, I knew I was watched over by something beyond my comprehension. Now I know it is my spirit guardian or guides who have saved my life because I was not meant to die at that time. It was my ego who created that unnecessary drama in my life. Had I not being watched and rescued by my spirit guides and the spirit guides of that young man, as well as those who were with the soldiers in spirit, I would have died a long time ago.
to be continued….
Tags: ego, knowledge, lesson, rescue, situation, spirit guides, strength
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April 21st, 2011
He allowed me to see the light and hope for life. He showed me the courage and strength as a human being. I believed he was brought to me by spirit to rescue me from that difficult situation.
During my teenage years, my life was very depressed and restricted due to the Cultural Revolution. I could not express my emotions, feelings or anything because we never know what unexpected troubles it would bring us. My father always reminded me of how much less I compared to him. He always told to my brother and me that we would never be better than him. In other words, I was nobody and I was no good. So deep down within me, I wanted to be a hero so that people would notice me and pay their respect to me. I could be somebody and my father would shut his mouth up. However, during that period of Cultural Revolution, we only had very basic food, no candy and snacks at all. We also did not have any entertainment. The only thing I could enjoy doing was swimming. I walked 30 minutes to the river from my home three times a day and swam three times per day. One day, while I was swimming alone, I heard someone crying out” Help! Help!” from the river. I saw a young man was drowning but nobody else noticed him. My desire to be a hero and wanted to do something different from my depressed life drove me to jump into the river and swam towards that man. I reached him and tried to bring his head above the water. The man was struggling to survive and as soon as he realized that someone was helping him, he immediately pushed me down, pushed me down deeper into the water so that he could put his head above the water.
to be continued….
Tags: entertainment, hope, life, light, situation, swimming
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April 19th, 2011
She came home just on the right time before we made a huge mess and caused the fire on our house. Realizing what we were doing my mother was in big shock. She rushed to me to take the match box away from my hand and very seriously told me:” do not ever do it again!” I was scared and confused, but did not know what I was doing wrong and how the danger I could put my brother and myself in. My mother cooked for us and we ended up having a delicious meal and happy to see my mother again that day. After we had finished our food, my mother immediately went back to the hospital and she was not caught by the nurse. No body even noticed she left the hospital and came back. It was a miracle for my mother to sneak out from that strict and highly guarded epidemic hospital. As I looked back at this experience, this was the first memory I ever had from my childhood. It was so vivid that I still remember all the details clearly today. I honestly think that spirits from the spiritual world gave my mother intuition and helped her to sneak out of the hospital.
In the Chinese Cultural Revolution, I was attacked by my schoolmates due to my father’s situation. When I was only 11 years old, I was surrounded by my school mates and they laughed and spat at me. There was no way for me to get out from the crowd. I was scared and humiliated, and feeling helpless. My whole body was shaking and in shock. A young man from high school whom I knew happened to pass by. When he saw I was being attacked as a target, he rushed into the crowd and took me away from it. I did not know where his courage came from and what made him do this for me because he placed himself in danger in the time of extreme sensitive and difficult political upheavals. He risked his life for helping me out from the attacking crowd. He was my hero. No matter how old I became, I always remembered him for what he has done to save me, an 11 years old girl who is scared and helpless.
to be continued…
Tags: Chinese Cultural Revolution, experience, help, hospital, intuition, memory, spirit
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